Over/under the number of Oscars Jennifer Lawrence will win by the time she is 27: 2
Penalty on the Houston Texans Fans:
For laughing and cheering like a bunch of neanderthalic ass-clowns at the sight of your starting quarterback being injured on Sunday. Regardless his talent or play-making ability, what kind of mindless dumbassholes do you have to be to yell in excitement at the sight of a person’s injury while playing a sport?
Here I am, sitting, doing my homework in preparation for an impending exam and I receive a picture from my brother via text message without added commentary – this generally means the picture speaks for itself. Nine times out of ten that means I am in for a good laugh, this was a case of that ten percent.
What the fuck is wrong with people, in this case high schoolers, in order for “yes” to be a viable option in this questionnaire? What is wrong with the society in which we live when nearly 50% of girls can agree that it is okay to be forced into sex because she gets a guy initially excited? Later on in the survey she tests the difference between non-aroused and aroused males answering the question “would you keep trying to have sex when your date says ‘no’?” The results: 20% non-aroused said yes, 46% aroused said yes.
I’m not ignorant to the fact that both men and women feel sexual arousal. Nor am I ignorant to the presence of S&M and other taboo types of sexual exploits. But this goes far beyond that kind of scene. This is a product of culture. It’s got to be, right? Outside of a prison, where could more than half the participants in this survey feel like being led on is reason enough to hold down a female, against her will, than in a society that in some way condones that kind of behavior? I am so completely disgusted right now that my evening, and probably the next few days will be ruined by the idea that within the next week these kinds of people will put the twisted misconceptions seen above into action.
So ladies, the next time you find yourself at a house party trolling for someone to chat you up or give you a drink, keep in mind that at least half the guys there aren’t just looking forward to getting action, they actually believe it is okay to force you into it as long as you give them the idea that you’re interested. What’s worse is the fact that a quarter of the girls at that same party believe it’s okay also.
What went wrong? Or has it always been like this?
Penalty on Miley Cyrus:
For catching the attention of everyone under the age of 16 before they figure out that talent-less products of daddy’s fame are bad examples for someone worthy of idolizing. It’s bad enough having to watch you get attention because of your dad, it’s on a whole new level for today’s youth to actually believe you have skills outside of gaining attention by pissing people off and your agent’s uncanny ability to market your stupidity.
Within the last couple of weeks we have seen the end to a couple long-standing and well-beloved drama television shows. Dexter and Breaking Bad are among my favorite shows ever, almost definitely on my Rushmore. Next year we will see the end to another one – Mad Men. Over the last eight years we have been spoiled by what these shows have provided for us, and I may not be an authority on what constitutes the greatest shows ever, but it would be difficult for someone to convince me that this would not be included in one of the greatest eras in television history. That being said, where do we go from here?
Disclaimer: The Killing has been cancelled for the second time and season 4 is at the moment not going to happen.
A few shows that have me particularly excited are fairly young. The first that comes to mind is The Killing on AMC (formerly?). Season 1 kicked off with a killing (imagine that) of a teenage girl. As a parent with a daughter, it nearly killed me and that first episode put tears in my eyes. The first season progressed with something for the audience to anticipate and wait for impatiently – “who killed Rosie Larson?” This was similar to the way Heroes started with their “save the cheerleader, save the world” slogan that had so many people tuned in. Unfortunately, they did not reveal the killer(s) at the end, and probably as a fan and apologist, I understand why they did it. They didn’t want to throw all their proverbial eggs in one basket right off the bat. By extending potentially a season and a half into two seasons it allowed the show runners to transition from plot-oriented into character-oriented. I love Sarah Linden (Mireille Enos) and Stephen Holder (Joel Kinnaman), and I’m sure that was intentional. The dynamic between them is fantastic and the reason I look at this show as my favorite moving forward is because the writers managed to perfect both plot- and character-oriented progression through season 3. Their friendship and partnership showed growth and the future for these two look enjoyably dark (hopefully not blacked out dark). As you can see, I am still excited about a next season, regardless the news about cancellation (apparently for a “Better Call Saul” spinoff – what.the.fuck?).
Hannibal. If you tuned in, then I don’t need to say anything else. If you did not, watch it. It is intelligent, wild and incredibly dark. They will be giving us season 2 on NBC coming next spring and I cannot express how excited I am for Will Graham (Hugh Dancy) and Hannibal Lecter (Mads Mikkelsen) to continue their dysfunctional relationship. I don’t want to say too much because there are plenty of people out there who have not seen it. There are many reasons to love it: great characters, excellent story-writing, psychopaths, cannibalism and lots of blood and violence.
The Bridge on FX, yet another of those dark and twisted shows, will likely be one of my favorites by the time it finishes. Sonya Cross (Diane Kruger) and Marco Ruiz (Demian Bichir) are an excellently dysfunctional partnership and will no doubt keep me intrigued as long as the writing holds up. Season 1 just finished and I cannot believe the balls on not only the writing, but on the network for some of the stuff they got away with. This is another show with great character-acting, gnarly story-telling and plenty of bad language and violence to keep me cringing and smiling.
Shameless on Showtime may not be new entering its fourth season, but season 3 was such an improvement on an already good show that it is a must-mention. The first two seasons were very good, giving us some very likable characters and above average acting all around. The third improved on all fronts. Although Frank Gallagher’s (William H. Macy) exploits have gotten ridiculous at times, there has been growth in the character and Fiona (Emmy Rossum), Lip (Jeremy Allen White) and Debbie (Emma Kenney) more than overshadow where he is or where he is going. Seemingly everything going on with the Gallaghers is changing heading into the fourth season and I know it will be well-done. And it doesn’t hurt that everything about Emmy Rossum is likable and the show is in very good hands as long as she remains the primary character.
Series’ like Homeland and Ray Donovan on Showtime show a ton of potential and I am excited where they progress from here. Season 2 of Homeland dropped significantly from what we got in the beginning, but by the looks of it, the showrunners heard the disappointment and will get it back on track to the greatness of season 1. House of Lies and Nurse Jackie (as you can see, I love me some Showtime dramas) have the potential for great moments and I don’t generally miss any of the episodes, although I don’t think they have the polarizing power of the others.
I love where the trajectory of television dramas is taking us. We may not see perfection or overall quality with the likes of The Wire, Dexter, Breaking Bad or Mad Men, but we will definitely have excellent options eliciting debate and water-cooler conversation. Do not think I forgot about Walking Dead. Although it’s entertaining, it’s similar to liking cool cars drive fast in the Fast and the Furious movies – sometimes I just want to turn my brain off and enjoy gratuitous zombie violence.
Are there some shows that I missed? What suggestions are there for my future viewing?
For eight long years I have been a loyal follower of Dexter and his dark passenger. The story was so original, especially for someone like myself who began watching drama television around 2006. Although I read many books and watched many a show, the closest I came to a character as refreshingly dark as Dexter was Jack Ruskin from Tim Green’s The Fifth Angel.
The finale was a complete letdown and disappointment. It wasn’t until the day after that I realized the protagonist for me was Debra. For the previous couple of seasons I had known that the series approached an ending. As far as I was (and still am) concerned, the only way to end the series properly would have been with the death of Dexter – no way around it. So naturally I put Debra on the pedestal as the one good thing left over from the darkness that Dexter represented in all of their lives. For that reason alone the ending could not have been worse. My protagonist, although relieved of living with her demons, was given a terrible end, no matter the faux baptism under Dexter’s first tears.
That being said, the poorly done last couple of episodes do not discount the previous 90 plus. The first season was a beautiful introduction to a likable monster. Season two Dexter had to weasel his way out of legitimate trouble. Season three – “meh.” The fourth season was incredible, without a doubt the best one with the addition of John Lithgow and Dexter’s first real loss stemming from the presence of his dark passenger. I think I am in the minority in liking the contributions of Julia Stiles and Jonny Lee Miller in season five, but finally he found someone with whom he could be himself. Season six gave us the Doomsday killers (Edward James Olmos and Colin Hanks), but was more of a movie style, high production value type instead of great all around drama. Season seven and up through episodes seven and eight of season eight appeared well on the way to a fantastic finish.
The series had great cameos throughout, shocking twists and my favorite character ever. It is unfair to criticize a series simply because the ending was poorly done. The outrage was definitely overblown, although somewhat understandable given the commitment us dedicated followers put in over eight years. Unfortunately, as is always the case, it is time to move on. The future shows promise as far as television shows are concerned and I know Showtime will reload. Could Penny Dreadful be the answer? We will have to wait and see.
Over/under the number of years before Miley Cyrus has to make a homemade porn tape (if she hasn’t already) in order to remain relevant: 2